i awoke hungry .. writers and creativity vultures usually do! .. i
opened one eye .. i opened the other .. i poked one arm .. i poked the
other .. i slid my fuzzy legs from under the goose feathers .. slapped
my bare feet on a cold wooden floor and sat straight up thinking about
the hot coffee .. two eggs over .. hashing spuds’ .. wheat toast and
cheap jelly, $1.69 special!
i’m a loner and worldly mystic by default .. and whisking and
caking for one over burners and pans to impress and survive me is just
not my gig .. and the fridge is always empty .. so i naturally head to a
diner about this time .. cause country diners promise wonderful untold
cultural oddities .. and since i don’t have any particular attachment to
running a razor blade across my face .. i could be out the door and down
the road in a flash! ..
i picked a sunny window for gazing purposes .. a soft booth because
i was still sleeping .. the ordering was painless .. i got the same
thing as last time and the time before that and before that .. cause i
had other things to think about .. and my joe was hot …
but before i could spoon in 2 sugars and splash my cream .. the
plate hit the table with a bistro crash .. that doesn’t sound right i
thought! .. good things don’t happen that fast! .. and i was as right as
a day old weatherman .. the eggs ran like a thief .. my toast tasted
like a greasy pot scrubber .. and the fried potatoes had a bite like an old
tire .. i assumed the obvious .. they were ready for me a long time ago!
.. perhaps as far back as last week!
and just as the food was doing a fine job of rubbing my belly the
wrong way .. i overheard two old mud flaps engaging in a worthy round of
simple guy economics .. saying, “62 dollars!” .. “what the hell kinda
price is that?” .. “62 dollars!” .. “weell ai’ll teell yoou whaat! .. i
never heard of anything costin’ 62 dollars!” .. “if that guys tellin’
you 62 dollars, you can bet your ass there’s somethin’ wrong with that
there deal!” .. “cause nothin’ costs 62 dollars nowhere!” .. “not even
at wallmart” .. “65 dollars maybe .. not 62!” .. “i wouldn’t trust
that guy as far as i can spit!” ..
the advice that i had garnered was worth far more than the $1.69
and the 3 quarters i dropped to the grouch of a waitress .. so i
swallowed my complaints and shuffled to the car with a smile .. i’d
got my monies worth .. i’d say at least 62 dollars worth of breakfast!
a very valuable lesson! .. that things in life are usually exactly
what they seem to be .. for it’s only when we overthink the smell do we
perceive it as perfume!
©1999 Samuel Saint Thomas
Originally published in the weekly prose poem series “mondayMorningBluesBLASTER!